Now there are plenty of songs and “artists” out there these days which contribute to my raving lunacy. You’ll find most of them polluting the airways excreted from your local “top 40” radio stations. Today’s example of exalted mediocrity is “Just the Way You Are” by current teeny heart throb Bruno Mars (is that in fact his real name? who cares I ain’t googling him). Anyway, I’ll tell you why this song is shite.. not only because it sounds shite and because his pubescent whiny girl-boy voice pains me to listen to – but also because of how fundamentally flawed this song is.
“Just the Way You Are” is as disingenuous in its chosen chord structure almost as much as it is lyrically and visually in its associated video crap I mean clip. Its almost ironic actually when you see the plastic video clip which goes along with this song, with its sexy but can’t see it model love interest.
Lets take a look at the lyrics to begin with. The song is about the admiration of the self unaware perfectness of your girlfriend/boyfriend. A vacuous simpleton attempt to send a message of affirmation to a self doubting partner of their amazing underated perfection. Amazing just the way they are, they don’t need to change. Kinda lame, but okay all well and good. Should’nt this be a “happy” song, with a positive message and feel? No this song writing infant takes this tripe and lays it over one of the most common chord progressions for unrequited love. ie. if we’re in the key of C Major.
C A minor F G.
Now this is a beautiful chord progression, which is all you need to know how to play if you want to be a girl-gathering-get-my-guitar-out-at-parties-serenading-Romeo. “Oh Donna” by Ritchie Valens, “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers are classic and timeless examples of the pain of love and how this progression should be used. Even Concrete Blonde’s “Joey” while it is a weaker example, has got this going on! You can also get an unlimited landscape of melodies to sing over it to express heartache. It just doesn’t make sense to crap all over this chord progression with “Just the Way You Are”. You don’t get it miss bruno!! What, you are so upset because your girl is so perfect? More pretty than what you are bro?
Wanker Awards Winner
Some people should just be banned from playing piano or guitar.