Sleasey Sushi Strategies

Sushi. I don’t get it. It stinks, tastes gross and yet every girl in the world loves it?  Along with salt and vinegar chips it’s one of the female culinary modern mysteries I will never understand. I’ll have my meat, chicken and fish cooked and HOT thanks! But it’s healthy right? mmm parasites, worms chemicals.. all for three dollars fifty – I’m sure they’re using quality ingredients. Not to mention that shit could errrr KILL YOU!! I had the stinky displeasure of fetching a packet of sushi for a workmate for lunch and my eyes were opened…chicks dig guys who buy sushi?!

Now I’m even more confused?  I’ve now discovered Sushi runs third place to babies (at number one) and puppy dogs, to attract chicks when out shopping. The girls buying their sushi at the sushi shop smiled and looked. Walking down the street more of them were looking at me.. and muttering.. “Oooh he’s got sushi..

Then at the traffic crossing lights.. “oOo sushi, he must take good care of himself”.  I began to walk buoyed with a new found John Travolta staying alive strut confidence..It must be the sushi. But then, a wave of dread swept over me.. “Damn I’m not gonna have to buy this shit everyday to attract the ladies am I ?”

So in the spirit of Ken’s Dating Tips I’m inventing the “Fake Sushi Carry Pack” men’s pick up accessories range.  Baby’s and puppies yes they grab the most attention, but they’re too much work and responsibility. Even if you are just borrowing them for the day. Fake sushi, you don’t have to eat it and it doesn’t make any mess or stink and it conveniently fits into your man bag.

I’m already in talks with Old Spice so don’t bother copying me!!

10 comments

  1. sushi is not raw anything, and additionally tastes delicious

  2. additionally "california rolls" are not sushi, and crab "meat" sucks

  3. I think you have been wearing your Bohemian man scalf a little too tight??

  4. someone has to keep you in check

  5. also i cant get a working rss feed from this page

  6. yes, i need .rss or .xml i believe

  7. Sushi is like punk music and reading the Financial Review – it's a lifestyle choice, but no one actually likes it.

  8. BAHahah thats awesome – can i quote that one!!!

  9. Please do! Spread the word – sushi eaters, you aren't fooling anyone, we know the truth. It's time to admit it and just eat a friken sandwich like the rest of us

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